How to Get a Japanese Boyfriend (Explained by a Japanese Man)

Interesting Facts and Others

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a Japanese boyfriend? No? Okay then. See you later!

I’m just kidding! Hopefully, there are some people who are interested in Japanese men since I am one of those. As a matter of fact, it is not uncommon to see foreign men dating Japanese women, however, you barely see foreign women dating Japanese men.

I always thought Japanese men were not popular with foreign women, but since I have lived in Australia and the Philippines for many years, I noticed that there were many foreign women out there who were interested in Japanese men. That’s why I have decided to give you some tips on “How to Get a Japanese Boyfriend”.


This blog post will cover these three points.

  • Typical Charastiristics of Japanese Men
  • How to find a Japanese men
  • How to get a Japanese boyfriend


Let me help you find the one for you!




What Japanese Men Are Like!?

I am Japanese and I have many friends across the world. Although we do not have the “lady first culture” as many western countries have, I am not shy to say “Japanese men” are not bad.

They are caring, well-planed, shy, and quiet. That’s just a typical Japanese man and, of course, there are many others who are not any of them. But I think most Japanese men fit at least one or two of the typical Japanese men characteristics.

As you may know, Japan has a culture of respect. That is why we prioritize group opinion more than individual opinion. “Japanese people are shy” and “Japanese men never say their opinion” these characteristics come from how Japanese people understand their culture and grew up in this kind of environment.


They Become Sweet After They Start Dating

Japanese men are shy and quiet at first. But they will change once they start dating. They become more caring and well-planned.

This is not a problem for Japanese women since foreign men can take care of shyness. But when men are too shy to start a conversation or too quiet while going on a date, foreign women immediately think “he is not interested in me” and decide to walk off. That is why you see many couples of foreign men and Japanese women, but not Japanese men and foreign women.



How to Find a Japanese Man

(If You Live in Japan) Ask Your Friends

If you live in Japan, Japanese men are everywhere. But, it is not easy to find one unless you are fluent in Japanese. If you live in Japan, the easiest way is to ask your friends to set you up on a date. In this way, you can make sure that he can speak English or at least is interested in dating foreign women.


(If You Live in Your Country) Go Out

If you live outside Japan, you see fewer Japanese men. But it is way easier to get him like you once you become friends. They are in your country because they like your culture or studying your language. That means if you ask him out, they will say “yes” almost 100% (if single).

The easiest way to find Japanese men is to go out and socialize. As much as you do Japanese people love drinking and eating out. If you find them in a bar, just have a casual conversation. He will appreciate your gesture.


Use Dating Apps

Another way to find Japanese men is to use Dating apps. Just like you have used in your countries, we have many of them in Japan as well. They don’t need an introduction, but Tinder and Bubble are frequently used in Japan. By using these dating apps, you can not only find someone to date but also friends to practice Japanese and drinking buddies.


There are Japan-made dating apps on the market, however, you need to use them in the Japanese language and most of them are used to find Japanese women. On the other hand, People who use Tinder or Bumble are more open-minded to dating foreign women.



How to Get a Japanese Boyfriend

Are Japanese guys interested in foreign women? The answer is “Yes” if they are learning English. Luckily, we learn English as the second language in school, and the majority of Japanese people are keen to learn English. However, the sad truth is that not many of them feel confident in their English to date someone from overseas. Besides, more and more Japanese men are becoming shy and passive that they do not initiate a romance.

But there are certain things that Japanese guys look for when starting a new romantic relationship.


What Japanese guys want from foreign girls.

  • Skinny girls
  • Girls who do household chores
  • Do not be touchy or express affection in public
  • Speaking Japanese or English
  • Taking care of yourself


Skinny Girls

Needless to say that it really depends on individuals but Japanese guys tend to like skinnier girls than chubby girls. I like chubby girls but most of my friends do not agree with me, so I will not speak for myself.

If you ever met Japanese women, you must have thought they were really skinny and slim. Compared to other people from different countries like the USA or Australia, Japanese people are shorter. As well as Japanese men do not go to the gym, so they are quite skinny. Therefore, most guys want a girl who is shorter and smaller than themselves, so that they feel they can protect their girlfriends.

Also being slim and short makes a girl look cute and innocent. Japanese guys love girls who look innocent for some reason.


Girls Who Do Household Chores

The situation of gender roles in Japan has been changing drastically. However, when a man and woman are married, usually the man keeps his job and the woman quit the job and does housework.

Therefore, unconsciously men are seeking women who can cook, and clean the houses. There is this word 女子力 (Joshi-ryoku) in Japan that describes the “women skills” that attract men and be popular around them. 女子力 means skills in some fields that are often associated with femininity like fashion, makeup, cooking, and cleaning.

Imagine you are at a restaurant with a man. A bowl of salad comes to your table. I do not know how it works in other countries, but if the girl does share the salad without being asked, she has 女子力 and is believed to be more attractive to Japanese men.


Do Not Be Touchy or Express Affection in Public

I myself have dated several women from different countries including Japanese, so I am very familiar with this one. But Japanese men do not like to express affection in public and you should avoid doing it.

It’s just a cultural difference and we feel uncomfortable with public kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and so on. Nowadays, it’s become more acceptable to hold hands and kiss on the streets, but there are still people who do not like doing it in front of other people. I cannot do it and I just feel super uncomfortable.

However as mentioned above, many Japanese men are shy and passive. They do not show affection. So, if you are the type of girl who touches naturally and laughs a lot, chances are he is already fallen in love with you. All you need is to ask him out!


Speaking Japanese or English

I have seen many couples of foreign men and Japanese women and most of them communicate in English even though the Japanese women do not speak English well. On the other side, couples of foreign women and Japanese men tend to use Japanese as a tool of communication.

If you meet a guy in Japan, chances are he does not speak English. It seems to work with foreign men and Japanese women, but it doesn’t seem to work with foreign women and Japanese men when there is no communication tool that they can share untroubled.

If he does speak English, you do not need to speak Japanese.


Showing Your Flaws

Japanese men love women who seem perfect but sometimes show their flaws. This gap makes Japanese men go nuts!

However, Foreign women can be intimidating due to our idealization of foreign people (especially western people) and Japanese men won’t go for it when they think they are out of your league. Therefore, you need to show your flaws! You need to show that you’re a clumsy person. You need to show that you forget things. You need to show that you have fat ankles. People tend to hide these facts until they get really close, but it is very important that you let him know you are just as a human being as he is.

When you show him your flaws, that makes him want to protect you and let his guard down.



That’s it for today! I hope you liked it.

Most importantly, if you’re interested in Japanese men or Asian men (I think they are similar to Japanese men), you may have to be the one to initiate the conversation.


You may also like these posts.

➡ How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work (How I Failed)

➡ 7 Best Japanese Movies To Learn About Japanese Culture


If you want to learn the Japanese language, check this out too!

Let me know what you think about my post in the comment below or you can reach out to me on my Twitter account. Thank you!


  1. 匿名 より:

    I really enjoy reading your article. Please publish more this kind of content. I’ll check them out!